San Giovanni Ristorante Italiano - Rancho Santa Margarita

Yesterday was a big day in the life of my girlfriend Cayla.  She learned that you leave the gun and take the cannoli.  That if you hold all the judges and politicians in your pocket, that you must let others draw from the well.  Yesterday was Cayla's first time watching the Godfather :)  Since during the whole movie the characters eat Italian food, it was no surprise that when it ended, we were both in the mood for Italian food!  We decided to try San Giovanni's since it was close, has been there for years, and heard that their cream puff dessert was excellent.  We would find out later that this was a BIG MISTAKE.

We walked in and immediately the atmosphere and decor was not at all what I was expecting.  It looked almost like a pizzeria where you order at the counter instead of a full service restaurant, which it is.  Before we reached the hostess podium I started looking around for the bar and couldn't find one.  I asked the hostess, "Do you have a bar?”  She answered, "No."  This was the first big disappointment of the evening.  Once Cayla and I were seated we looked around and it was mostly families with small kids and older couples.  Not a good sign in my experience.  We both looked at each other with nervousness and I said to Cayla, "This should be interesting."  If I had to do it over again we would have went with our gut-feelings and walked out at this point. 

The waiter comes over and asks us what we would like to drink.  Cayla orders red wine.  I ask him if they have any hard alcohol or if it's just wine and beer.  He answers with wine and beer.  Another disappointment.  I went with a tall Stella, which by the way wasn't even that cold when he brought it out.  The best way to describe our waiter is an old grump man with no personality.  We decided to order their cheese garlic bread to start with.  I wish I had taken pictures of everything we ordered to show how sad every dish looked.  The bread was the SAME bread that came to the table for free, with an INREDIBLY SMALL amount of some sort of garlic butter spread painted on, and a thick layer of mozzarella cheese on top of it with NO seasoning of any kind.  The bread looked like it had been microwave since it had ZERO browning on top.  This dish had ZERO flavor.  I could have done a better job at home on my own, and I'm not a good cook. 

For my entrée I ordered the Chicken Parmigiano.  The dish came with penne pasta as a side dish.  When I ordered it I asked for spaghetti instead of penne.  You would have thought that was an outrageous request from the facial expression and eye rolling of the grumpy old waiter.  In keeping with the trend of the evening, this dish was horrible.  The chicken was VERY small and had barely any mozzarella cheese on it.  The taste was VERY PLAIN. The spaghetti was a small amount with a horrible meat sauce on top of it.  There was a pile of ground meat lying on top of it while an almost red water spilled out through the pasta on to the entire dish.  Horrible.

Cayla ordered the Chicken Fiorentina.  This was a dish of fettuccini with chopped chicken, spinach, and prosciutto in a white wine cream sauce.  She barley ate any of it and said it was terrible. 

This brings us to dessert, which we were hoping would be the meal’s saving grace.  We were WRONG.  We ordered the Cream Puffs.  The menu says that this is “grandma’s old recipe”.  If grandma’s old recipe is serving defrosted store bought cream puffs, then yes, this is grandma’s cream puffs.  Two large, very ‘OK’ tasting cream puffs came on a plate alone, no sauce, no ice cream, no garnish of any kind.  Actually, that was the case with every dish we ordered.  None of the dishes had any garnish.  It was almost like presentation was something they don’t concern themselves with.  Anyways, back to the cream puffs.  The pastry portion of the cream puff seemed almost wet.  My guess is because they are DEFROSTED.  Just a guess.

When the check finally came it was $64.97 before tip.  REALLY???  When I went to look for the itemized receipt there was NONE.  There was an old style food ticket (the type a server is supposed to handwrite) with JUST a total with and after tax written on it.  Attached to it was an accountant style calculator print out with math on it but NO WORDS at all, making it impossible to check the bill.  I was so frustrated with this and the whole experience that I just said “screw it” and paid.  I didn’t want to have any more contact with the grumpy old waiter so I just paid and we ran out of there. 

I do not know how this place has stayed in business for so long.  It looks very plain, has a lot of screaming kids and inattentive parents that could care a less, horrible service, and HORRIBLE FOOD.  Their website advertises that they serve “authentic Italian Cuisine”.  As someone who was raised Italian, eating good homemade Italian food since birth, and someone who had been a seasoned fine-diner since infancy, I can tell you that there is nothing “authentic” about this establishment.  My guess, and this is only a guess, is that this place stays in business by the patronage of large families with little kids who eat very cheaply here, and patrons who don’t know what good “authentic” Italian food is.  Cayla and I both agreed that we would rather go and eat at a Sbarro in a mall food court.  The food would have been better and MUCH cheaper with the same amount of, or less screaming kids.  My advice to you: Steer clear. 

Have you been here?  Did you have a similar or different experience???  I'd love to hear about it!!!